A letter to my children

Dear Audrey, Ally, and Ian

I praise God daily that out of all the women in this world, He chose me to be your mom, what a lucky girl I am!! You are all amazing, beautiful, smart, funny, talented, loving, and so much more, I am so blessed with the awesome responsibility to be your mom. There is not a day or a moment that goes by that I do not regret having you in my life but their are things that I do regret that I have done. like yelling. I have nor never will hurt you intentionally but I have shown you how the devil can creep up on you and empower you at your weakest moments. Thankfully I can ask God for forgiveness when I am weak and do not seek him first and give into anger and miraculously He does!!

I try very hard to emulate a Christlike attitude, but it seems that I have failed to do that on occasion and it breaks my heart that you see that. I am praying to be stronger and hope that you will pray for mommy too. Even mommy's need prayer and even mommy's are sometimes the "devil's friend" and do wrong. I do use these moments, as teachable moments for you, and I pray you will one day understand them. Everyone makes mistakes, but the strong people ask for forgiveness, and that is what I want you to learn. I want to be a strong mom for you, because you deserve it!

Mommy's are supposed to be kind, gentle, loving, supportive, understanding, strong, and beautiful all the time, not angry, hurtful, harsh, belittling, weak, and ugly. From the depths of my heart, I am so sorry that I am not always the mommy you all deserve and need and for not always staying calm, cool, and collected and yelling or saying something that hurts your feelings. I am not perfect and I never will be. The only perfect being is God, I will never even be close to that but I have God on my side and He will show me and lead me in leading you. I will always discipline and or punish you if needed because that is also part of being a mom but I will always try to do so in a manner that reflects God's love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness instead of Satan's tantrums.

I know you will probably never read this but I wanted to write down how I feel when I fail you and how my heart breaks when that happens and that I am truly sorry for getting angry and yelling. I love you all to the moon and back and more and pray that one day you will accept Jesus in your hearts. I want you to always see His love in me Forgiveness is another big lesson I want you to learn with this letter. That mommy's need it too, so I pray that you will forgive mommy when I am not perfect. I love you so much, my heart could just explode with love. You are each a special gift from God and I take the responsibility of being your mommy very seriously and want to do the best job that I can and if that means admitting my faults, and showing you my imperfections than so be it. Being your mommy is the best job in whole world even though it is the hardest job in the whole world.

I love you to the moon and back and more,

Mommy