Choosing to SEE

This is the title of the book that I just finished reading by Mary Beth Chapman who is the wife of Christian singer/songwriter/author, Steven Curtis Chapman as well as a mother, author, adoption specialists, Christian, and so much more! The book is about her life, her family, her tragedy, and how God has a plan that only HE knows and no matter what we do we cannot control it. So rather than just being angry, upset, resentful, about things in our plan, we should choose to SEE God in all of it, the good and the bad.

The thing I was most intrigued by was that my children also have a plan of HIS and as a mom, all I can do is pray for them, help them SEE, and then choose to SEE myself when HIS plans for them do not meet with my plans for them. Audrey, Ally, and Ian had a plan for their lives long before they were in my arms and even long before they were mine. They were HIS first and HE chose to bless me with the honor of being their mommy. My job is to love, guide, teach, and be an example to them so that we can SEE together and that one day we will all be able to SEE Jesus face to face!

For those of you who do not know this the Chapman's lost their youngest daughter almost 4 years ago in a terrible accident. Their sweet Maria was a guide in helping her mommy truly be able to SEE. I don't want to spoil any of the book for you but I will tell you to have your heart ready to be blessed and tissues handy! Thank you Mary Beth Chapman for sharing such a sweet and personal story and for using your gift of word in such an intimate way.

I praise God daily that nothing as tragic as what happened in the Chapman home have come our way and I pray it never does but I do know that things will come along that I don't like and that I don't want in my life. It is not my life anymore, once I accepted Christ it was HIS life! My prayer is that I will always be able to SEE him in all parts of my life and those of my family, especially my children. It is always easy to SEE HIM in the good but so very hard to SEE HIM in the not good.

I remember our years of struggling with getting pregnant, which in no way compares to losing a child and is in no way meant to, but it is and was the hardest thing for me. I was a mommy without a baby! For the first three years I was at a loss, I was facing something I had no control over and I hated it, I could not and chose not to SEE God in those three years. Year four came and my dad of all people just laid it out for me. He told me pretty much it doesn't matter how much money we spend, what treatments, we try, when we do them, God is in control. I was able to SEE on that day and from then on my relationship with God grew as did my faith and everything that happened in the following year and a half made sense as did all those sad things in the years before. Looking back now I can SEE even more of his plans that unfolded just like they were meant to only I didn't look for them.

If you have time please read the book Choosing to SEE or borrow it from me! I will even mail it to you, if you promise to mail it back! It is an easy read and a great message and testimony to a mother and sweet little Maria Sue who now SEEs Jesus all the time.